How I Know I’m Dysregulated (Before I Feel It)

sfglinz
Dec 17
4 min read

Before you ever feel stressed, your body gives you clues. You just used to miss them.

You don’t always realize you’re dysregulated until you’ve snapped at your partner, negotiated with a pint of ice cream like it’s a hostage, and started doom-scrolling “for research.” Cute. But your body? She was whispering to you long before that.

Here’s how those whispers tend to show up:

Speed-talking + filler words. If your voice notes sound like an auction, that’s not “energetic.” That’s red-alert.
The scroll claw. Three tabs. Same sentence. Still “working.” It’s avoidance dressed as productivity.
Chest-only breathing + shoulder earrings. When your shoulders try to become jewelry, you’re heading towards Sympathetic (fight/flight).
Micro-snaps. The dog sighs; you take it personally. Irritability = pressure valve.
Food/drink negotiations. “I deserve it.” “Just a little.” That’s not moral failure — it’s messaging.

Your nervous system whispers before it screams. If you catch the whisper, you don’t have to clean up the scream.

Three Real Coaching Moments From This Week (and the Archetypes You Might See Yourself In)

Every week, my clients bring me gold » real, raw moments that perfectly illustrate how the nervous system whispers before it screams.

These three stories come straight from actual coaching sessions this week (identities protected).

I’m sharing them as archetypes — because odds are, you’ll see a little of yourself in at least one.

🧠 The Overthinker: the tight-fast chest

Let’s call her The Overthinker (I used to be her, by the way). This client’s early alarm is a tight, fast feeling right behind her sternum.

When she stayed with it for sixty seconds — no analysis, just breath and attention — it softened.

Then we rewrote an old grocery-store panic attack memory so her body could experience a different ending.

If you ever feel your chest sprint while your brain tries to fix your life, that’s not just “overthinking.” That’s a whisper from your Nervous System.

📅 The Planner: the nightly ice-cream negotiation

Another client came in thinking she had a willpower problem. But her nightly ice-cream craving wasn’t just about discipline — it was her stress flare.We set one simple boundary (plan full-sugar ice cream nights on Sunday or Monday; lower-sugar alternatives the other nights), and the craving drama quieted.

If your sugar, wine, or scrolling habit spikes when life is heavy (🙋🏻‍♀️), that’s not shame. That’s a whisper.

💗 The Caretaker: the big blob of bleh

And then there was The Caretaker. She closed her eyes and found a big, still, heavy blob in her chest — not panic, just a feeling of stuckness.

Underneath it was a fear that if she keeps leveling up - cuz boy is she ever! - she’d leave people behind. (Oof…hello, loyalty vs. growth.)

When she named it and breathed with it, the blob shrank. Not because she forced it — because she witnessed it.

If you’ve ever felt that tug-of-war between expansion and belonging, that’s a whisper.

The 90-second tool: AOL (no, not dial-up)

Allow

Name it without drama: “Oh! There’s the blob.” “There’s that tightness in my chest.” “Sugar brain is here.”

Observe

Where is it? Is it big or small? Fast or still? Warm/cool/tingly/dense? Take two or three nose-into your belly, mouth-out breaths while you watch it like weather.

Love

Love on that part of you. Breathe in or offer the line your system needs: Breathe in safety or tell yourself as if telling a child, “You’re safe.” “We can do this one step at a time.” Then give yourself one regulating action: a two-minute walk, a shoulder drop, a glass of water, or 5 minutes in the one next task.

You don’t have to find the why in the moment. Relief first. Reflection later.

Why this matters for your goals

When you catch dysregulation early, you stop wasting energy fighting yourself. My Caretaking client didn’t need to fix anyone — she needed permission to keep growing. My Overthinking client doesn’t need a better calendar — she needed sixty seconds of presence. My Planning client didn’t need a full sugar ban — she needed a plan that respected her current capacity.

That’s emotional fitness — catching it early.

Try this today

Pick your top early alarm (blob, tight-fast chest, scroll claw, micro-snaps, sugar brain).
When it appears, run AOL for 60-90 seconds.
Choose one next kind choice (2-min walk, water, inbox timer for 5, planned dessert yes/no).
Call it a win. Because it is.

If this hit home, comment below and tell me your #1 early alarm. I’ll send back a custom 60-second regulation move that fits your life (no crystals, no spreadsheets…unless you’re into that).

Your body isn’t blocking your goals…she’s guiding them. Listen to the whisper so you never have to clean up the scream. 💙

💙 Nervous System November Starts Soon

If you’ve been loving these stories and want to actually experience what nervous system work feels like in your body, this is your moment.

All month long inside Muscles & Mindset, my clients are getting an exclusive bonus series called Nervous System November — a four-part journey to help them build emotional fitness from the inside out.

We’re talking real-life, 60-second tools to calm your stress, rewire your self-talk, and finally stop the all-or-nothing swings that keep you stuck.

✨ It’s completely free for every active M&M client in November.

✨ And the first class — Brain to Body on November 5 — is open to everyone, no strings attached.

If you’ve ever wanted to peek behind the curtain of how we blend mindset, movement, and regulation…this is your chance to feel it for yourself.

🧠 Just e-mail me to save your seat for the free masterclass

💪 Or apply to join Muscles & Mindset before November 1 and get the entire Nervous System November experience included.

Stay unbothered. Stay unshakeable. Stay strong.

You can’t lose.

xo,

Anne 💙

→ [Learn more about Muscles & Mindset 1:1 Coaching and how it works. [Click here.]