Breaking Free from the All-or-Nothing Mindset

How to Finally Build Consistency With Food and Fitness

Have you ever caught yourself thinking:

“Well, I already ate one cookie… might as well finish the box.”

“I missed my workout today, so what’s the point of even trying this week?”

If so, you’re not broken. You’re stuck in an all-or-nothing mindset.

And this way of thinking isn’t just frustrating. It’s the exact thing keeping you trapped in a cycle of guilt, restarts, and feeling like you’re never doing enough.

Why the Start-and-Stop Cycle Keeps You Stuck

One of the biggest things I hear from women in my DMs and from new clients is “stop–start” language:

• “I was doing so good… then I fell off.”

• “I need to start over.”

• “I’ll try again Monday.”

Here’s the shift I want you to make:

This is your life. Not a challenge. Not a reset. Not a 30-day plan.

If your goal is to be healthy, strong, and confident for life, then there is no finish line. No expiration date. No “failure.”

Think of it less like a straight line with a beginning and an end — and more like a circle or spiral. You move forward, you pause, you learn, and then you keep going.

When you opt out of the “start and stop” hamster wheel, you unsubscribe from the guilt.

What All-or-Nothing Thinking Really Is

All-or-nothing thinking is often rooted in perfectionism.

And perfectionism isn’t about doing things perfectly. It’s about needing to do things perfectly — or not at all.

You’re either:

• “On track” or “off the rails”

• “Fully committed” or “completely failing”

There’s no middle ground.

I know this mindset well - I’m a recovering perfectionist myself. It’s the same thinking that kept me from starting this podcast for five years. I was waiting for the perfect time, the perfect plan, the perfect execution.

Here’s the truth I live by now:

Done is better than perfect.

Why Your Brain Loves Extremes (and Why It Backfires)

This mindset isn’t your fault.

Your brain is wired to crave certainty. Historically, this helped us survive — friend or foe, rabbit or lion. But in modern life, this wiring shows up as:

• “I missed one workout, so I might as well quit.”

• “I had dessert, my diet is ruined.”

• “I had one drink, so all bets are off.”

Your brain doesn’t like gray areas - but sustainable progress lives there.

When everything feels like a crisis, your stress hormone (cortisol) stays elevated. Over time, that leads to burnout, emotional eating, and giving up entirely.

The Tug-of-War: Wanting Two Things at Once

This is what’s known as approach-avoidance conflict.

You want to:

• Enjoy food, drinks, and social time

• And feel good in your body and make progress

So you end up in a constant mental tug-of-war.

I call this Saturday-night brain vs. Sunday-night brain.

Saturday: “Let’s have another.”Sunday: “Why do I always do this to myself?”

This isn’t a willpower issue - it’s a mindset one.

Why the Gray Area Is Where Change Happens

All-or-nothing thinking tells you:

“If you can’t do it perfectly, it’s not worth doing.”

That’s a lie.

You don’t need perfection to make progress. In fact, you learn nothing from perfection. Growth happens in the messy middle.

The gray area looks like:

• Drinking water on a night out

• Enjoying dessert sometimes (not all the time)

• Working out on vacation — or not

• Moving your body in a way that fits your life

This is where consistency becomes possible.

Real Client Examples (and What Actually Worked)

Danielle told me she “wasn’t a breakfast person.” In reality, she drank coffee all morning, skipped meals, and then binge-ate at night.

We didn’t aim for perfection. We aimed for something.

Eating anything within a couple hours of waking - even nuts, a smoothie, or leftovers - changed everything.

Another client worked long shifts, didn’t pack food, and ended up binge-ordering pizza after 24 hours of barely eating.

The issue wasn’t discipline - it was restriction.

When you don’t feed your body, your body will eventually take control.

Why Small Starts Create Big Results

When clients are inconsistent with workouts, I don’t throw a five-day split at them.

I start with one workout per week.

That’s it.

And yes - it feels underwhelming. People are skeptical. But here’s what works:

• One workout, done consistently

• Then two

• Then more if it makes sense

  
  

You don’t need more workouts. You need consistency, efficiency, and recovery.

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How to Break Free From All-or-Nothing Thinking (Starting Today)

If you’re ready to step out of this cycle, here are three shifts you can make right now:

1. Give Yourself Permission

Permission to eat. Permission to rest .Permission to enjoy food without guilt.

Permission removes pressure - and pressure fuels bingeing.

2. Start Smaller Than You Think You Should

One or two workouts. Do them consistently. Stop changing the plan.

Trust builds consistency.

3. Practice Self-Compassion When You Slip

Instead of: “Why do I always do this?”

Ask: “What’s one small thing I can do today?”

Progress doesn’t require punishment.

The Bottom Line

Sustainable progress is built in the gray area - not the extremes.

When you focus on consistency instead of perfection, the results come without the stress, guilt, and burnout.

And if this resonates with you, know this:

It is possible to break free from the all-or-nothing cycle.

I see it happen every day.

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A Gentle Next Step 💙

If you’re tired of starting over and ready for a grounded, sustainable approach to fitness, food, and mindset, Muscles & Mindset was created for you.

No extremes. No guilt. Just strength, confidence, and consistency that lasts.

You can apply through the link in the show notes - and if this post helped you, share it on Instagram and tag @annejonesfit. I love seeing what clicks for you.

Remember: it’s not about being perfect. It’s about being consistent - and compassionate with yourself.

You’ve got this 💙

→ [Learn more about Muscles & Mindset 1:1 Coaching and how it works. [Click here.]